Nandini Rao's Blog

I write because...

2009-12-17T06:35:00.000-08:00

Just finished reading a wonderful post from an acquaintance . He writes about how he overcame his childhood stuttering disorder and how his mother played an important role in it. A very well written post, brought tears to my eyes.

As I read the blog, two conflicting thoughts came to my mind simultaneously and I report them as is.
Part of my brain was thinking "how can some people express so well, when I struggle so much", the other part was thinking "Well, the post that you are reading is all about how that friend/acquaintance overcame his shortcomings. His approach to solve his stuttering problem was to talk a lot , So my approach perhaps should be the same too.".

I like to express myself but I know I stutter while writing and the solution to it should be to write .. no matter what I think about the end product or no matter what people think about it., I should write. So I will keep writing because I like to write.

Spirituality

2009-12-04T08:15:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: I dont claim to be a philosopher

What is Spirituality?I posted this question on facebook and got some responses which I have pasted at the end of this posting. Almost everyone feels that Spirituality is an attempt to understand your true self.

We get so engrossed in the superficialities of this world that every now and then we find ourselves lost in our lives , We find ourselves disconnected from ourselves.

I am thankful to the so called hardships/struggles that I have encountered in life which has resulted in the quest for Spiritualism.

It is through experience, Introspection and Contemplation we try to understand the real purpose of our life. Spirituality to me is a deep topic. It is a journey. The Simple things that we learn and imbibe in our lives to refine ourselves and the realization that there is a supreme power, that is Spirituality to me.

Every individual seeking Spirituality has the same goal but the path adopted is different. I believe the Bhagvad Gita has answers to all our questions and a learned Guru has to guide us through the Spiritual path.

Some important lessons that I have learnt which I am trying to implement in my life are listed below. In this complicated world were we get to meet different kinds of people implementing some of them listed below may seem hard but all it really needs is sincere efforts to try and practice them, doesnt really matter if the efforts fail initially. After all we are human.

Accept every Situation as it comes without complaining.
Never undermine yourself, Believe in yourself and always have a Positive attitude.
To talk about others mistakes/sins is a mistake/sin by itself
Forgive and forget others mistakes
Be very careful while talking to anyone, make sure you don’t hurt anyone’s feeling
Never brag about anything that you have done or may possess.
Shun Egoism
Never get carried away by the glitter of the materialistic world, It is all temporary.
Remain unaffected when emotions likes happiness and sadness strike you(Sthithapragnya)
Try and help others as much as you can
To work is in our control, the results are not.(Essence of Bhagwad Gita)

The above list is incomplete. feel free to add your suggestions.

There is also a mention about religion in one of the responses.

Although I know spirituality is associated with every religion.Religion, the way people follow it has a lot of rules, rituals and traditions, Some of which have been distorted to a such an extent that they really have lost their original meaning. Spirituality on the other hand is very personal and is not bound by any rules.

Please find below the responses to my question on facebook.

Gagandeep Singh
Spirituality, for me, has nothing to do with once birth religion or being religious or even dealing with your spirit - a supposedly matterless matter!Spirituality is an effort to understand yourself, forming your own beleifs, getting sense of Life, its meaning, and where do you fit in.. to basically understand your uniqueness, the deep rooted you (which we say your soul/spirit figuratively speaking) and realizing how you can live more fully.. more completely.. more happily!
Yesterday at 4:00pm · Delete

Nandini Rao
I totally agree with you. One need not have to be religious to be spiritual
Yesterday at 4:13pm · Delete

Mini Deshpande
For me spirituality is finding yourself within you.Being positive each & every breath...not making deals with GOD "if you give me this, I will give you that"
Yesterday at 5:10pm · Delete

Shailaja Rao
What is spiritualism? To understand this, ponder over this “ Who am I? What am I made up of? This body is made of food we eat etc but then consciousness, the spirit within it is made up of what? What are its ingredients?- to know this all is spiritualism. Being in tune with existence and to learn how to be in tune.
Yesterday at 9:04pm · Delete

Rajashree Jain
who r u? how r u connected with this world, does anything changes after u? what is happiness? r u happy and enjoying this moment despite all pressures? Deepak Chopra's titles, Louise hays books have helped me to an extent understand many a things,
6 hours ago · Delete

Comparing Kids

2009-10-23T10:27:00.000-07:00

"Let us not compare her with other kids, Let her grow at her own pace " is what my husband and I told each other about our daughter. Yes, Each Kid is different, and it doesnt seem right to compare your child's development with his/her peers.

Now, if you ask me" Have you really not compared her with anyone so far?" The honest answer would be "No, We have". Comparison I believe is natural and cant be avoided, Parents compare their kids with their own siblings. I think what we are really doing is checking our child's progress to see if she is growing/developing properly. Even the Doctors do it. Dont they? The growth chart talks about percentile, 75% of kids her age are taller than her, 60% kids her age weigh more than her. Arent the terms taller, fatter, faster, slower etc used for comparison? The Doctor wants to see if any medical intervention is required if the child is not developing the way he/she should.
Comparison is natural and inevitable but when comparison turns to competitiion , that is when things get ugly. So be careful and let not the competition take over comparison.

Every child indeed is special. Let the child grow at its own normal pace.

Is the world ending in 2012?

2009-10-19T10:42:00.000-07:00

It was a very hot October day, the day we landed in Hyderabad but the same evening it started to rain and didnt subside until the next morning and then it kept pouring the whole week leading to floods in several villages and towns in AP and Karnataka. So many lives lost, that of humans and animals,So many villages destroyed and so many people displaced. It is going to take months and years to rebuild what has been materialistically lost . For those who have lost their loved ones, the grief is going to live with them till death.

The two governments now play the blame game, People call it poor flood management,We cry and sympathize for the victims but the damage has been done and we are doing more damage every day .

Every calamity in the recent past , the earthquakes, the floods, the tsunamis are manmade.
One doesnt have to be a Seismologist , a Geologist or a Ecologist to know how much harm we are doing to the Earth and our nature. We are cutting trees, building homes and tall structures , digging borewells, We are increasing the population. We are abusing the nature as much as we can and even more.

You would be shocked to see the concrete jungle in Hyderabad. The way the multi storeyed buildings are being built! I own a flat in one such building myself and I am not too proud of it. It all seems nice now but how are we going to take care of the water supply for these hundreds of thousands of flats?. by digging more borewells? It is scary and as much as I dont want to believe that the world is going to end in 2012, I am forced to believe that it will and my fear is not groundless.

Man will never triumph over nature.
We are the culprits of these calamities . Yes we are. Is it too late or can we still make efforts to save this planet?

Poaching, Population, Pollution is Preventing the Progress of this Planet

India

2009-09-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

This weekend I am flying to India and everytime I make a trip to India , I think I will visit atleast some tourist places but I know thats not going to happen because the purpose of these trips are to spend some quality time with family there. So I guess the chances of making it happen is to move back to India for good. Hmm..'Moving back to India for good' ...that is one interesting topic I would like to talk about some other time.

There is so much I want to see in India. The Taj mahal,The Himalayas ,The Ajanta and Ellora caves, beaches in Goa, The natural beauty of Meghalaya,Sun temple of Konark, Khajuraho monuments, Kerala backwaters, Madurai Meenakshi temple, The Belur and Halebeedu temples, and the list goes on. From the North to the South and East to West, India has so much to offer. It is a country with such rich culture and ancient civilization. oh I forgot to mention the marvellous Akshardham temple in Delhi.

Sight seeing places in US are nice but personally I feel you dont come back home marvelling at the art, the craftsmanship, the beauty of the sculptures/monuments/temples as you do in India. That is probably because US does not have a history as old as India . The thing that hurts me a lot is the poor marketing and maintenance of our treasures in India. We should learn from the US. Sure things have changed now, I understand that Archaelogical Survey of India is doing a lot to protect and preserve monuments but public effort is also needed. Anyway that is a different story.. but I hope my dream of touring India possibly followed by a world tour will come true.

Working Moms vs Stay at Home Moms

2009-09-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

Growing up I always thought it is only Fathers who go to work and Mothers are meant to cook and take care of the house and the kids. At school, 90% of my teachers were women but as a kid I never realized that these teachers were Moms too.

The very title "Working Moms vs Stay at Home Moms" feels so wrong. We are not here to judge/decide who is a winner. I believe going to work or staying at home is a personal choice and/or a personal requirement. Like anything else , every choice has a price.

Women who stay at home at times express that they are looked down upon by other Women who go to work. Working Moms on the other hand are blamed to be very career minded and negligent of their kids.

So it is all about guilt and rationalization. If a working women is comfortable working she will never criticize a Stay at home for choosing to stay home with her children and if a stay at home mom is comfortable staying home with her children, she would never justify her position and would never criticize another women whose position she is unfamiliar with.

What I have realized after becoming a Mom is that a woman who is known to be strong becomes stronger after she becomes a Mother and knows how to balance well between work,home and kids. A Stay at home infact has a full time job herself.

So Moms. Stop Rationalizing. Shun your guilt and Do what you think is best for you and best for your family.

Challenges

2009-09-21T07:40:00.000-07:00

I have not known anyone so far who has not had one or more challenges in life . I have not known anyone so far who has not, not complained about those challenges. However I know a few who take challenges in stride while others keep cribbing about them.

Challenge/Struggle to me is nature's way of humbling you, God's way of teaching you to be strong, to learn from experience. Kunti, the mother of the Pandavas asked Lord Krishna for more struggles because she had experienced that God was with them during the time of Struggle and not during happy times.

We would all never worry about our struggles if we just understood that the struggles we are facing today is a result of our karmas . karmas from our past births and/or present. Why worry about things that are not in our control , we cant do much about them anyways and why worry about things that are in our control, Cant we just work on them?

So it is all about attitude in the end and now Let me try and live by what I have written:) .

Philanthrophy

2009-09-17T11:07:00.000-07:00

Does one have to be a Bill Gates or a Warren Buffet to be a Philantrophist? I read this very impressive story on rediff about an autodriver in Mumbai who doesnt make a lot of money yet goes out of his way and helps people.

The Story touched me. I kept thinking "Why cant everyone do this?" I guess we all will come up with some justification or the other like the responsibilities and commitments towards our families, paying our bills etc. Ofcourse we have to fulfil those commitment. We all know that Charity begins at home. However if we are able to draw the line between our wants and our needs, we will be able to save enough to help others.

Anything little we do , makes a lot of difference in the lives of the needy.

I have done some charity but I know I can do more. I will try and do more, I will try and inspire others to do more. I will set a good example for my toddler daughter. Will try and make life worthwhile.

I will leave you with the following

"You have not lived a perfect day, even though you have earned your money, unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you"

India trip

2009-09-16T07:23:00.001-07:00

I am leaving to India on the 25th of Sept for just 3 weeks. Saanvi was only about 6 months when I last went there. She is now 2 and 1/2. As one can guess I am very excited about the trip. I am excited because Saanvi and my family in India will get to spend some time together.They have been eagerly waiting to meet her.
I am glad Amma could visit US and spend some time with us. I wish Pappa would have been able to make it too .

Parents

2009-09-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

This is my first blog and I want to dedicate this to my parents.

Matru Devo bhava! Revere your mother!
Pitru Devo bhava! Revere your father!

'Amma' is Amma, No one can ever replace her. There is so much written and said about mothers yet they all seem insufficient to describe what a mother does and means to her child. I always think and feel sorry about children who have been deprived of mother's love and guidance.
My father was one such kid himself. He lost his parents when he was only two(2) . He had lot of struggles in his life yet he never complained. Lost a son in the prime of his life but he moved on swallowing all his grief for he had to fulfil his responsibility of marrying off his youngest daughter.. me.

Among the many important lessons that I have learnt from my parents, One that has helped me sail through difficult times is the following, Pappa always said " God knows what is best for you, so even if things that seem bad to you now are really things that you will learn from and these will help you become a better person, So Dont Despair! Everything happens for a reason".

My parents didnt just advise but set an example . They lived a simple life, had many challenges and struggles but took everything in stride. Amma and Pappa had such different personalities but they complemented each other so well. What I saw and learnt from their lives is.. IT IS NOT THE DESTINATION BUT THE JOURNEY THAT MATTERS.

Pappa is no longer in the world physically but his value, his wisdom that he passed on to his children who inturn will pass on to their children will live on.

Yesmy parents truly lived the life of a Karmayogi, Kept doing their duties and I wont say they didnt expect results, They did ... Yes they expected positive results but they didnt sulk or despair if they didnt get those results. They had non binding desires.